It's Tough To Get Along With Those With Opposing Views

Relationships between people are psychologically complex. We are, after all sentient beings with infinitely different identities. What makes us the way we are is coded in our genes and our exposure to the environment. That being said, what is the best way to relate to people? Do we be ourselves, or do we subtly modify our behavior to accomodate others? I seriously doubt that most people act the way they would in private the same way they would act in front of: their spouse, their boss, a friend, their parents, etc. There is always that reservation that keeps us wanting to impress, or not look bad. Perhaps it's the civilized way to behave.

Here's the conundrum that is causing these thoughts tonight: I have family members whose political and philosophical views are in direct opposition to mine. For example, the majority of my immediate family, and relatives on both sides of the family support G.W. Bush. Consequently, they approve of and continue to support the Iraq war, a war that I feel is wrong from a moral, judicial, religious and practical standpoint. They view global warming not as a scientifically sound theory, but rather a liberal conspiracy. They embrace conservative, traditional views while I embrace progressive views. They interpret situations without giving much thought other than what they see and hear on TV (from sources like Fox News, O'Reilly Factor, etc.). In summary, they possess the traits that turn me off to conservatism: close-mindedness, rigidity in beliefs, rejection of the scientific method in favor of gut feeling, and hostility to those who question their beliefs.

So, when I meet with my relatives, there is an unspoken understanding not to engage in political discussion. I try once in awhile just to get some dialogue going, but in the Conservative fashion, I am met with silence. It seems that one does not challenge a conservative's beliefs without getting some spite in return; often in the form of the cold shoulder. Some people would say, "They are your family, family comes first"; or "These political issues should not drive a wedge between you and your family; put them aside." But when you are a person who is concerned about global issues and how they may affect the future, this becomes a problem. It is difficult to suppress the desire to engage. To not speak out is to not be yourself, and it is quite uncomfortable. Sadly, it damages my relationship with my family. It relegates it to a "casual acquaintance" relationship. We talk about superficial things like summer vacation, sports, etc. and leave out the big, important issues. It's almost like we're estranged.